God and Sex

Ha! You clicked on that link!  When we think about reading a post about sex, our minds go to a million different places. You might be taken aback by that, thinking, “What is this going to be about?” You might not be okay with it. “Why is he writing about this?” You might be interested - “I wonder what he’s going to say.” You might think about your family. Your upbringing. You might think about computers. You might think about failed relationships. You might think about regret. You might think about movies. You might think about confusion, excitement, or boredom. Our minds run in different directions.

Sex is owned by someone or something different for each one of us. For some, sex is owned by hollywood. For others, it’s owned by the internet. For some, sex is owned by some family member who harmed us. That’s where sex got its start. That’s where it got twisted or misunderstood. As all of us come from those million different directions, the truth is that God owns sex. He created it. He made it. And it’s a very good thing.

If you read the very beginning of the Bible, you read about three main characters: God, Adam and Eve. God created Adam and Eve. But Adam, he created first. Realizing Adam is alone, God creates Eve as "a helper fit for him" (Genesis 2:20). Eve and Adam were perfect companions. They were, down to their very anatomy, a perfect fit. Right at the very beginning, God is demonstrating his design for sex. In His creation of it God displays His approval and ownership of it.

What happens next? We all remember the story. Satan shows up. The great deceiver - in the form of a serpent. He talks to Eve, Eve talks to Adam and doubt is planted in their hearts. What if God's design is not the best?  They take the fruit, they eat the fruit, and their eyes are opened.  It’s really like their eyes are distorted. As they look at each other, something has changed. They’re ashamed because they are naked. The very first moment of disobedience to God distorts the way we look at each other’s bodies. And in a moment, Satan starts taking things that aren’t his. He takes sex and begins to wield it as a weapon against humanity.

Can’t you identify with that story? Isn’t there something about it that feels familiar? I think it’s because this is the way that a lot of us first come into contact with sex. It’s a discovery that is closely mirrored by shame. Sometimes we’re caught with something, or someone tells us something we didn’t know, or someone does something to you. We easily become convinced that sex belongs to someone, anyone, other than God.

In my life, my parents started talking to me about sex early in life. We talked about how sex was God’s design and it was for married people. I’m so thankful that they did that. But the sad thing, is they couldn’t stop the force of the world.

At the same time that my parents were trying to parent me right, the world was pushing in. I still remember. There was a kid in one of my elementary school classes. He had dark hair– classic bowl cut. He would bring catalogs that his mom got in the mail to school. During PE he would gather all the guys around and we would look at the lingerie pages. That actually happened!

What I was being convinced of in that moment? It was being whispered in my ear: sex belongs to someone else. As an elementary kid, I was learning that sex doesn't belong to God. I was being told that it wasn't connected to my faith, but it belonged to someone else.

That moment of discovery and distortion happens in such a more drastic, memorable, and accessible way now. My generation experienced childhood as the final moments before the internet exploded. Now, kids can google anything on their phone. Anything. Think about the ramifications of that. Everyone becomes convinced, from a very young age, that sex does not come from God. It’s owned by someone else. The idea that sex comes from God seems like a crazy idea. We're convinced that it is an experience outside of purity and faith.

Sex belongs to God. God loves sex! Isn’t that just a little bit hard to reconcile?

Don't believe me? Go read Proverbs 5:18-21. That's in the Bible!

In those verses, God is talking about a husband and wife. How awesome is that? God created sex. It belongs to believers. It’s a wonderful thing! God creates things to tell the story of his glory. Beautiful mountains are there to point you to the God who created them. Sex is the same way. God gets glory a husband and wife delighting in each other. Sex is a gift that God has given to married people to enjoy. Sex was created to be a central expression of the love and commitment and intimacy that God gives us in marriage. In the same way that we experience nature and feel God’s goodness, sex within marriage shows us the goodness of our great God.

Because of our negative experiences with sex, it is very easy for us to think that God is against it. While you were growing up, all you may have been told by your terrified parents is to NOT. HAVE. SEX. "If you have sex, you’ll get pregnant and ruin your life." The reason parents say things like that is because they are terrified. This sends the message to our kids that sex is evil and wrong. 

Sex is not bad or dirty, and it’s not evil. But it does have a place. Sex is like a good fire. If it’s getting cold outside, there is nothing like a good fire in the fireplace. But a fire not in its proper place is dangerous. No one wants it out of the fireplace and in the living room. One spark in the wrong place and it can burn your house down. Sex was created as a beautiful incredible experience for married people.

It can be easy to feel like sex has been so co-opted by the world that we would be better off not having anything to do with it. You might feel like that's exactly what your parents told you. Interestingly, Paul talks directly to this point in 1 Timothy 4:1-5:

“Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, though the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.”

Paul is saying that there will come a time when people will be deceived by the very idea that there are certain foods we shouldn’t eat, and to be pure, we shouldn’t get married and we shouldn’t have sex. And listen to how he argues with that. What does he do? He points to creation. He says in verse 5 that “everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving.” God created sex. He owns it. The world may try to distort it, but it is a gift from God for a man and a woman to experience together in marriage. It is intended to be received with thanksgiving as a gift, created by God to help us understand His glory. God loves us enough to give us a gift like that!

But Paul is also using sex, marriage, food and all of creation to reinforce a very crucial point: these gifts, these good things, are to be received with thanksgiving. In essence, we really are to look to the giver of these gifts more than the gifts themselves. We don’t become so wrapped up in sex that we forget what it is an expression of. It’s an expression of the love God has given us for our spouse. Our marriage is a picture of how Christ loves us.

Sex is a powerful thing. People carry more guilt over sexual sins that they’ve experienced more than any other sin. It’s why we’re so often afraid to talk to our kids about it- because we don’t want to expose our own mistakes! We use it against our spouse. We let culture take it and distort it. We allow the internet to distort us. We give sex to the ones who don’t own it and we forget that God created it to show us his glory.

God created sex. It is a good thing. It’s an expression of God’s glory and love through married husbands and wives– thank God for that!